"When you make a commitment to a relationship, you invest your attention and energy in it more profoundly because you now experience ownership of that relationship." ~Barbara de Angelis
The text read, "I have given 10 years of my life to my children and I am not giving any more. It is time for me to think about me." 10 years was the length of this mother's commitment to her children. The fact that the youngest child was 3 and the oldest was 9 didn't factor into the equation or the reality that children need a lifetime commitment from their parents. Her commitment to her children was negated in the time it took to send a two line text.
Committing to a loved one is a powerful action because once you commit, it becomes your responsibility to nourish the relationship. Sometimes commitments are made based on emotion and need while at other times they're made after a period of reflection and thought. No matter your process your commitments belong to you and are not contingent on the actions of another. Your commitment is a thing unto itself. An example would be the husband who engages in an affair after learning his wife has been unfaithful. While we understand he is hurt and in that hurt lashes out, we also recognized he failed in his commitment to his marriage and the promise he made to himself.
Commitment to another requires time, energy, talent and risk. You may yearn for a loving husband, family and friends but without commitment, it will only remain an abstraction. Do you live the reality of commitment? Do you dedicate the attention and energy needed to live your commitments?
NEXT: BE LOYAL