Decision Points were the focus of our January articles. What motivated our contributor to start a new journey in their life? Amanda Gore of The Joy Project pointed out that most people only make a change when a crisis takes over their life. Most of the time it is a health issue but it could also be a financial or personal crisis that motivates us. Why is that?
There is a thesis in popular culture that puts forth that men are hunters and women are gathers. Self-help books on relationships as well as scientific journals spend time and energy putting forth the argument that the division of labor in the male/female relationship is a function of our DNA. To me this is just another opportunity to drive a wedge between the sexes. I submit that human beings whether male or female are builders and pragmatic ones at that. Human beings build bridges, careers, homes, families, governments and just about everything else that is necessary to sustain life. They also do so using the talents of each member of the team as effectively and efficiently as possible. It is only when one group starts to negate the contribution of the other group that tension is created.
I have learned through personal observation that human beings are at their happiest when they are building something. How many times have you heard from a parent or grandparent; “We had no money but we worked hard to build what you see today. And you know those were the happiest times of our lives.” Or have you watched as your child builds a car out of Legos or builds a new dress to wear to the prom? The process may be arduous but once complete the pride is evident.
Why does it take a crisis to get us to pursue happiness? Why don’t we wake up in the morning saying, “Hello new day, today I am going to do something that will make me happy”? I am not talking about the momentary happiness of that second bowl of ice cream or 4 hours of TV at night. I am talking real happiness that comes from pursing ones passion. I am talking about building something.
In February we are going to look at community. How do the people we know, support our desire to build, to pursue our passion and in some cases how do they stand in our way? Community, social networks and neighborhood denote our wider sphere of influence and connection. Do those influences bring out the best in us or do we allow them to craft our passion? So I ask you, what kind of community are you building?
http://www.thejoyproject.com/home
http://books.simonandschuster.com/Great-Bridge/David-McCullough/9780743217378