The call came this morning and the news is good. The lab results showed no reoccurrence of the cancer. I am relieved and I am grateful. I am relieved because these results mean I won't be spending the next weeks or months in a doctor's office or hospital while brokering payment with the insurance company. I am grateful because this is a reminder to "get it done, now". After Mom died I felt a burning desire to intentionally embrace the next phase of my life. But over the weeks and months, my pacing went from urgent to pressing to maybe I can schedule some time for that 3 days a week. The negative lab report rekindled the "fire in the belly" for my dreams and the spark to act on them.
I have been blessed in my life. Both my personal and professional experiences have been unique and varied. I have worked at jobs that have challenged my abilities and helped me pay the bills that provided for my children and me. Personally, I have grown as a friend, mother and significant other and sometimes when I look back at who I was in my 20's and 30's, the only phrase that comes to mind is "bless her heart". In the South that is an euphemism for "she didn't have the sense God gave her." As for a bucket list, I don't believe in them. Why? I haven't and don't want to start living my life as though it were the same as the to-do list I use to manage the mundane chores in my life.
Today my passion for life is driven by being connected to others. When I say connected, I am not talking about the technology surrounding our modern life. I am talking about real person-to-person connections. I want my grandchildren to know they are loved because I am present in their lives. I want my friends to know I care because I am there when they need me or just want to laugh. I want to be connected through words and deeds. I am grateful for each and everyone one of you who offered up prayers and words of support. I believe in the power of prayer and I will be forever thankful for yours. As I move forward today, I know real person-to-person connection is possible because of you.
Hugs,
C