I have often said that I am living my life in reverse. When all my friends were in college and back packing through Europe, I was becoming a Mom. When I was at home caring for my little ones everyone else in my age group were clubbing and starting out in their business careers. I was the first in my group to get a divorce, to have grandchildren and to extricate myself from the financial burden of owning “things”. I was the first to stop giving my grandchildren presents at birthdays and Christmas because they were becoming ungrateful under the weight of so many toys from grandparents and great grandparents. Instead I chose to set up a “dream” accounts that would allow them to have money for something meaningful to them. I have been out of sync with my peers for most of my life. Today starts my Year of the Time Out. Others are calling it a sabbatical, a mid-life crises (though I am well past the age that is referred to as mid-life) or running away but it is in actuality a time out. Children get to have a time out, why not adults? But instead of going to my room, I am placing myself in a time out in the world at large. I have taken care of the running of my businesses; given away, thrown away or put in storage everything I own and I have cleared my calendar for the next year. While one expects life to have its ups and downs, this past 15 months has been particularly difficult. I have been hit hard both personally and professionally. My company was caught in the flood in Nashville, TN and while the organization is stronger for the experience, I watched as many people pulled together to support one another while others weren’t quite so admirable. I am a big supporter of community service and had looked forward to making a positive impact in a local community leadership position when it turned negative. I spent a year, under the guidance of lawyers, trying to protect the organization while at the same time trying to protect the rights of all the individuals involved. Hard decisions were made and careers were altered. Finally my heart was broken. One who was close to me betrayed me at a core level. So I am giving myself a time out. For the next year I am going to observe and listen. I have worked hard to craft a life that is positive but today I see that it has only been filled with drama and so much noise that I can’t think or reason. I am going on a journey of introspection. The above entry was written on Monday, September 20, 2010. Less than a month later I was walking across the street in Greensboro, NC when a 19-year-old girl who was turning left struck me. The car flipped me up, I hit the windshield and then came down hard in the middle of the road. Frustratingly, I don’t remember a thing!! I have since been told the girl could not see me because of the angle of the sun. I have also been told that I was talking after being hit but could not remember my name or why I was at the intersection. I don’t even have a faint whiff of a memory trying to break through. Nothing!! A complete blackout. My injuries were a fractured right ankle, a concussion, head lacerations, cuts and bruises and most concerning damage to my inner ear. There are stones or crystals in the inner ear that control balance and mine had been dislodged. In the majority of cases they go back into place within 1 to 6 months and I have even seen some improvement since the 19th. Sitting up for the first time in the morning is like jumping off the “whirl”, the kid propelled merry-go-round that my brother and I used to call the “throw up machine”. While I know I run the risk of sounding like Polly Anna…it could have been worse, much worse. The young women and passersby stopped, the police came and the emergency unit scooped me up and took me to Moses Cone Trauma Center in Greensboro. I spent one night in the hospital and then was sent home with a boot on my right ankle, crutches and instructions to see my own doctors. My loved ones immediately rallied around me. My sister traveled from Florida to North Carolina to help me get my belongings packed up at the farmhouse where I was working on my book and moved to my daughter’s home for a few days. My son started the arduous task of sorting out the paperwork and legal issues of an accident. A week later my significant other came down to collect me and return me to my home in New York. I once was told by an acquaintance that she and her husband do not offer to do things for others because they do not want others to ask them for help. At the time I thought hers was a peculiar life philosophy but today I find it sad. I did not have to ask for help from the strangers that came to my aid in Greensboro or the love and support from my family. It was given freely and with affection. I thank them all and when I can I will pay-it-forward. The very act of a serious health threat whether through an accident such as mine or from aging is a sobering event. But when my head started to clear I realized that my heart and mind had been altered. On November 19, 2010 at 3:30 in the afternoon, everyone in my world got a clean slate from me. Absolution and forgiveness had been issued to all I know. It applied to all things great and small. At first others resisted my gift, trying to drag me back into another round of accusations, recriminations and blame assignment. The need to justify ones past behaviors is strong. I am not an expert on the Jewish religion but I gather there is a High Holy Day called Yom Kippur. It is my understanding that if one observes the day reverently and with an open heart, the outcome is to make peace with others and God. That fall day was a High Holy Day for me as I made peace with others and God. My sister teasingly questions, “How long will this last?” I hope for the rest of my life because there is now more laughter daily and less stress over the “small stuff”. My Time-Out continues and I will share with you the twist and turns of my journey. There are people I met before and since the accident that are living creative and passionate lives. So for me it is back to the beginning where the Footsteps team started. How do we THINK about the lives we are creating and how can we take constructive action to change our environment to support our vision?