My son said, "If your happiness depends on their happiness, you will never be happy". Yes, I had read or heard that quote before but this morning, it hit home. I have been keeping my grandchildren for the last week and candidly, these kids aren't happy people. Since their parent's divorce food, clothes, bedtime, getting into the car, playtime and TV viewing are all fraught with danger and the danger increases exponentially as each child weights in on the discussion. My grandchildren lost the illusion that their life was predictiable and ordered when their parent's split and a judge was called in to decide their fate. Yes, they are living in the family home with their father and see their mother once a week at the family nurturing center but this isn't their choice. Their choice would be to have the family together like it "used to be".
Marty and I came in from New York early to help plan, shop and cook for Thanksgiving. But since the Big D, my vision of what the holidays are "supposed" to be has shifted slightly. We have added a half marathon and 6K to the morning and will eat off mismatched china with the everyday flatware. Is this the worse thing in the world? No, at least we have mismatched china and flatware, a home and all the family together to enjoy a good meal together. I am thankful.
But I also want my son and grandchildren to be happy and worry free. And that isn't the case right now since their family broke into pieces. Leo Tolstoy wrote in Anna Karenina, "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."