Being In Control And Other Illusions

Nov
19
by Christine

Colorfully whimsical are the words that come to mind each time I look up from my computer to see the print by Brian Andreas hanging on my wall. I like to think that I am one who goes as the wind goes without a care in the world. But under the harsh stare from the woman in the mirror, I know this to be an illusion. I like order. It's satisfying to be in control and fun to wake each morning with a to-do list as a map for my day's journey.

Now keep in mind, there is one caveat to my love of order and control; I must control my to-do list. After working for someone else most of my adult life, I started my own company so I could be in control. This too is an illusion but one that is more palatable than the other option. 

Since Matthew's accident, I have returned home to organize and control. I have cleaned and rearranged closets, kitchen cabinets, personal and professional files, flower beds and even the basement. Not so subconsciously I've worked to wrestle control from the chaos that hovers on the periphery of life by organizing my physical world. This too is an illusion but one that results in a clean house and basement.

Quite frankly the real marvel in this world is not how many things go wrong in our life but how many things go right. Billions of people go about their business each day without a major mishap and while the minor ones are irritating, they are only as irritating as we allow them to be. So I have returned home to create an illusion that includes color, whimsy, gratitude, a clean house and letting go of the irritating stuff.

Hugs,